Have you ever heard the saying: “The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence” ? I bet you have, at least once and maybe with little variation. However, I am pretty sure that this idea sprang up in many cultures all around the world a long time ago.
This meaningful metaphor expresses the feeling of envy, which is definitely one of the most ancient instinct of mankind. Let’s think of the story of Cain and Abel, which is placed in the first pages of the Genesis book.
Assuming that envy has always been part of the human nature, how does this feeling affect us today? How do we react to this feeling nowadays? Hopefully not the same way Cain did.
The first time I heard the acronym “FOMO” I was talking with a friend, about a year ago. I remember that she told me: “Cami, you definitely have the FOMO”. Subsequently she had to explain to me what FOMO meant. FOMO stands for “Fear of missing out”. In my opinion this expression is quite representative of the way envy works for us nowadays. It seems that the target of our bad feeling is not Abel or the neighbor with the greener grass, on the contrary our anger and frustration are directed to an infinite number of lost chances, so that in the end it all just fall back on ourselves. As a result, the effects of envy have become way more damaging, since it does not point to a definite object anymore. Satisfaction is an aim which is impossible to reach, because we demand increasingly more of ourselves and of the people around us. But why this change?
According to many studies, social medias play a huge part in this process. As the World Journal of Clinical Cases affirms, the term “fear of missing out” took hold in 2004. This was the year Facebook launched. More than ever, as the social media presence in our lives has increased exponentially, we are continuously exposed to photos and videos that picture adventurous lives, dreamy places, funny attractions. Consequently we get persuaded that the lives of other people are a constant highlight, whereas our life looks like a failure. Have you ever felt so after hours spent watching TikTok or Instagram?
As a matter of fact, social media have stressed the effects of FOMO, but the source of this feeling may be searched in another human inclination, different from envy. Erin Vogel, Ph.D., a social psychologist and an associate professor at the University of Oklahoma Health Sciences Center, focuses on the human sense of belonging as one of the main reasons of FOMO, since “humans want to feel like we’re included like we belong to a group”. Natalie Christine Dattilo, Ph.D, founder of Priority Wellness Group and an instructor of psychology at Harvard, also claims that FOMO “is closely related to the fear of social exclusion or ostracism, which existed long before social media.”
And what are the symptoms of FOMO?
According to Erin Vogel they can include:
- Overscheduling (trying to be everywhere at all times)
- Withdrawing from others
- Feeling physically tired
- Feeling sad, anxious or depressed
- Difficulty concentrating
- Having trouble sleeping
Personally, as a non-user of social media, I think that the problem of FOMO can originate from the very opposite side, concerning us as individuals. It is clear that nowadays we have access to a wide range of experiences, since we are provided with many more tools and opportunities. This incredible amount of possibilities forces us to a choice, which consequently sacrifice all the other options. Therefore, once a path is undertaken, we keep wondering if the other roads which we have excluded, would have been a better choice. The more options you have the worse is the feeling of having “missed out” something.
And how to overcome FOMO? Just remember that:
-life is not a continuous highlight
-you can work on your choices, because life is not a labyrinth and no path is definitive.
-you are the one who can enrich and give value to his life.
Do you have any other suggestion to defeat the feeling of FOMO?
SOURCES: https://www.forbes.com/health/mind/the-psychology-behind-fomo/